"How's everything going with you?"

It’s been roughly 2 months now since my diagnosis. Overall, I think things are going well! I ran 20 miles yesterday, I’ve been setting 5k PRs, and I feel “normal” (whatever that means).

To be honest, without the steady flow of medical bills coming, it’s like nothing is wrong...

Mentally – I feel tough as nails. The clarity that I have had is great. Not quite Zen-like, nor is it YOLO! Rather, I think I just see things for what they are.  I attribute most of this to upping my training and competing in races. This has also led to new friendships.

As great as this seems, it is almost a burden. Yes, it does help me with “mental endurance” for long runs or grading papers for an hour straight; however, if there are dishes in the sink, why not save the water and wait until the next day? (My wife hates this, by the way).

Physically – I’m running on all cylinders. Between my own training, leisure family runs and coaching I’m in great shape. Some highlights: I took 1^st place for my age group in an 8 series race, 7^th overall out of nearly 200 athletes, a PR similar to when I was in high school, and running 20 miles with relative ease until the last 5 or so miles (I averaged a 7:53 pace).

What does all this mean?
I. Don’t. Know.

Seriously. It seems weird. But I guess that’s why I’m typing this. I was back to my normal groove and almost blocked out the diagnosis from my head. But then, the question:

“How’s everything going with you?” A normal questions, but with the tone and look – the speaker wanted something more.

“Um, I’m doing alright.” Then, like a sack of bricks it hit me. It wasn’t small talk…

My response was genuine. I discussed how things haven’t changed and that all is well. No symptoms, no hardships. Just same ol’ me.

I guess this kind of got me back to thinking about that day. The day my life did a 180.  

Anger? No. Sadness? Not really. Just confusion.

To this day it is the same. However, now instead of “How and why?” it’s more like “Are you sure I have cancer?”